Saturday, May 12, 2007
Sometimes i get really pissed even though i don't want to. can't u see it? what u say on ur blog hurts me hell ok. what i say hurts u too. this is totally mutual respect. look it's becos of what u say that i say back which causes hurt. and i'm always the one saying sorry.i'm always wrong.i dun fou3 ren4 that this is totally not my fault too but i really think u have a part to play in this mess.it's not always me, or maybe it is. i've been trying to listen, real hard. and sometimes this leads me to asking stupid questions.i've tried and tried, AND tried. i've cried becos if u. i did, so did. not because of the hurt but becos of the disappointment in myself--that i couldn't help u as well as others how others can. i care about u, i really do ok? and pls, ur smile makes me happy for the whole day u know. this is how much u matter to me. u've told me before that the more i try the more i'm hurting u. i dun want u to be hurt by me continuously... that's why i'm SORT OF giving up. i never wanted to, and i actually haven't yet. i really don't think i can cos everything i do i still think about how to help u. u've become part of me really. i'm sorry, i'm really sorry. u've caused me hurt, and i've caused u hurt. sorry, i'm always saying sorry. look, u won't find happiness in me now, how much i try to make u smile. i can't laugh with just one person, and she's not as important as u are to me. i swear.she isn't. i yearn to be someone you complement, i really do. but u've never.all i read in ur blog isn't anything good about me, it's always just nothing, or something bad. u've hurt me too, but u still mean a world to me. i always want u to be beside me.ur words mean a lot to me too, really. just an expressive way of saying that i still belong will make me feel happy.but it's always another person, always. yes go have fun with them, i see u happy and i will be happy. go, i shall let u fly,
我的好朋友。。。你是我的天使，永远都不会变，真的，相信我。你给我的悲哀，使我伤心，使我哭泣，但你还是我最好的朋友。 爱是什么，我不清楚，但我知道，我是爱着你的。我不是同性恋，你不要担心，因为对我，爱一个人就是能因他而哭，没有了他的存在，我也就会不想活了。。。 你是我的天使，你听着，这永远都不会变。。。i can't express my chinese well but i hope u get what i mean. =)
the enchanted forest*
